One thing I’ve learned about traveling is that my body is really, really reluctant to give up its regular time zone. I think in order to fully acclimate, I would need to be somewhere for a month before things begin to settle into a new “normal”.
As a result, I was wide awake this morning at 2:15 am (my regular up-an-attem time in LA). But what happened next was pure luxury: there was no where in the world I had to be. NO. WHERE. I cannot remember the last time that happened. So I just dozed and rested and allowed my body to recharge after what has been an extremely difficult and stressful year. Somewhere before 6 am, a rooster crowed and rain began to softly fall. It’s warm enough to have the windows open and the moist, heavy air makes me feel alive and nourished all at the same time. Pure luxury.
It’s funny because in the days and weeks leading up to this trip, I began to tell people that I would be gone. I received more than a few, “Must be nice!” and “Wish I were you!”s, laced with a heavy dose of sarcasm. I just don’t get that. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s bothering me. Am I supposed to dim my light and my enthusiasm just to make other people more comfortable? I refuse to do that.
Perhaps the people who make those comments are coming from a place whereby they (wrongly) see some sort of perfection in my life that they wish they possessed? Maybe they are projecting that version onto me in some way which makes them covet what they think I have?
I don’t know.
I do know that I struggle with my demons (both real and imagined) every single day. I know that through the course of this past year, my husband and I have faced a series of relentless and seemingly insurmountable challenges. I know that travel is a priority in my life and while I’m not rich by any means, I carefully tuck away whatever spare bills I might have each week to support this passion… this non-negotiable part of myself. I know that I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown and in need of some serious repair and this trip is a way for me to put myself first for a change. That is what I know for sure.
Practice last night was a beautiful sequence designed to open the shoulders, neck, and upper back after most of us had been crammed into tiny airline seats for hours. It was delicious and I felt surprisingly strong and grounded. Dinner was lovely – an assortment of Hawaiian dishes served at long, communal farmhouse-style tables.
Today will be our first day of our “regular” schedule: 2 1/2 hours of practice this morning followed by another 1 1/4 hour advanced practice this afternoon, combined with 1 1/4 hours “island-style” practice. Five hours total. Can’t wait.
Lastly, I want to wish a very Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, my husband Steve. It is because of your support that I am here. Fifteen wonderful years. As they say in “Wicked”, you have changed my life for good.